so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
