Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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