i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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