Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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