Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
