I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
