Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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