Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
