Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
