you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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