yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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