I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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