My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
