somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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