You really coming over, don't trick.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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