You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
