And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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