Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
