Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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