I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
No more Irish car bombs ever.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
