ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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