mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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