My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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