Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
