Welp...herpes.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
