Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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