ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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