Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
