Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
