therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
