how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
