Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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