So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Redeem this text for a blowjob
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
