lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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