It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
