Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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