i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
