I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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