I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
