Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
