Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
