If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
