Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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