And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
How's work?
Spinning.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
