Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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