You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
