Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
