super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
