Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
