Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
