You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
MIDGETS
????
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize