Buhtt sex?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
